My friend Brad and I were discussing bad "first dance" songs. His suggestions:

“Happy for the Rest of Your Life” (I believe that’s the title)
Lyric: “If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, so from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you"

“Love the one you’re with”
Lyric: “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one your with.”

“Runaround Sue” Dion and the Belmonts

“The Wanderer” Dion and the Belmonts

“Back off Bitch” by Guns and Roses. OK. Anything else done by Guns and Roses

“Fat Bottom Girls” by Queen

“Love Stinks” by J. Geils Band

“I Will Survive” This one shows up at most weddings. Not to bash men, but look at the way women run to the dance floor for this song.

“End of the Innocence” by Don Henley

“2 Out of 3 Ain’t Bad” by Meatloaf
Lyric: “I want, you, I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you, now don’t be sad, ‘cause 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.”

“Paradise by the Dashboard Lights” by Meatloaf
Lyric: “And now I’m prayin’ for the end of time to hurry up and arrive, ‘cause if I have to spend another minute with you I don’t think I can merely survive.”

“I’ll Try (To Love only You)” by Alan Jackson Try, TRY! Mister, you damn well better!

“Kiss” by Prince. Any song that begins, “You don’t have to be beautiful to turn me on… I just need your body”

to which I've added:
Queen: "Fat Bottom Girls"
and
MC Hammer: "Can't Touch this"

I also sort of suspect ANYTHING by Meatloaf should be right out - that's a bitter man! And a good case can be made for banning the Beastie Boys from first dance family history.

Feel free to leave a comment if you have some other suggestions!

- posted by cam @ 2:49 PM